绝对捧腹LOL：MARRY

By all Means... MARRY!
>
>    I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
>    That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
>    David Bissonette
>
>    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
>him keep her.
>    Sacha Guitry
>
>    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
>can't face each other, but still they stay together.
>    Hemant Joshi
>
>    By al l means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
>get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
>
>    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving
>them.
>    Dumas
>
>    The great question... which I have not been able to answer...
>is, "What does a woman want?
>    Sigmund Freud
>
>    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
>    Anonymous
>
>    "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go
>to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft
>music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
>    Henny Youngman
>
>    "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
>    Sam Kinison
>
>    "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
>electronic banking. It's called marriage."
>    James Holt McGavran
>
>    "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the
>second one didn't."
>    Patrick Murray
>
>    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
>    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
>    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
>    Nash
>
>    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
>it once...
>    Anonymous
>
>    You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
>    Henny Youngman
>
>    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
>    Rodney Dangerfield
>
>    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
>    Milton Berle
>
>    Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
>    Anonymous
>
>    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
>received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
>mine."
>    Anonymous
>
>    First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
>    Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

这么好笑的东西没人顶涅

难道一看见E文大家就闪了？

学习英语，戏译几条，请多指正。


When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
如果一个家伙和你老婆有染，最好的报复就是让这家伙拥有她。


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
婚后，丈夫和妻子成了一个硬币的两面：无法彼此面对却要长相厮守。

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
你一定要结婚。如果娶个好太太，你会很开心。如果娶个不好的，你还可以成为哲学家。（苏格拉底以惧内闻名于世）

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman
有人问我们婚姻长久的秘密。
每周我们都会出去happy两次。烛光、晚餐、轻柔的音乐和舞步...so浪漫...
对了，她周二happy，我是周五happy。

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
我可不吃恐怖主义那一套，要知道我可是已婚两年的人。

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
婚姻是一场与敌同眠的战争。

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
我可不吃恐怖主义那一套，要知道我可是已婚两年的人。

用金山不是英雄....

我不担心生活在恐怖主义之中,要知道我已婚两年了.

确实有意思,我尽量了(项目不紧,我实在太无聊了):
1.I recently read that love is entirely a matter of
chemistry.That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
我最近终于理解了,爱情完全是化学引起的.那就是我老婆视我为有毒废物的原因.
2.Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving
女人鼓励我们去追求,却阻止我们得到成功.
3.The great question... which I have not been able to answer...is, "What does a woman want
有一个伟大的问题,那是我一直不能回答出来的,是,"女人到底要什么?"
4.I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me
我有些话要跟我老婆说,而我老婆有几段话要跟我说.
5."There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
有一种转移资金的方式比电子银行还要快,那就是结婚.
6."I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
left me, and the second one didn't."
我在我老婆这事上运气比较坏,1个是已经离开了我,一个是竟然还不离开我.
7.The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
有效的记住你老婆生日的方法就是忘记她的生日一次.
8.You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to
你知道我之前为什么要结婚吗?因为我实在不想继续做什么了.
9.My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
我老婆和我愉快生活了20年,直到我们相见...
10.Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
enemy.
婚姻是场战争,并且还要与敌人睡在一起.

>    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
>    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
>    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Applicable to both man and woman.

>    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
>    Milton Berle

Yep. Imagine when her husband is wrong.

还是不错的～～